How to keep memory of your precious baby?
This is something so personal to each Mama and it is something you should consider before your TFMR and is worth chatting to your midwife or care provider about prior to your Surgical or Medical TFMR because they will be able to help you once they know what your wishes are.
TFMR Mamas asked you all on Instagram what keepsakes and mementos you loved to hold memory of your babies. Together with the responses from that and some research we have compiled a list of some of the ways to make this possible.
Memory Boxes
Depending on what hospital or clinic you attend, you may be given a Memory Box to help you make some memories with your baby while you are there. Usually they are supplied by Charities or Organisations which we have listed in our Charities, Organisation and Support Blogs (https://www.tfmrmamas.com/post/uk-ireland-charities-organisations-support-for-tfmr-parents). You can also order your bespoke memory box through
@lovethroughlossmemoryboxes or their website
Jewellery
There are many different types of jewellery that can help you keep your child’s memory, some of them include: Birthstones on a necklace or ring, foot or handprints on a necklace, dog tag or ring. Custom jewellery with your baby’s name, date of birth on them. Ring with heartbeat from last scan. Necklace holding tiny forget me not seeds. Ring or Necklace holding some of your Baby Ashes.
Handmade Personalised Embroidered Prints
Go to @janekent_studio or here See the “In memory range” inspired by Babyloss Awareness Week for the Wave of Light where Jane kindly donates 20% of every purchase to charity that helps people through grief.
Macramé Angel Wings
Boho style angel wings which are so pretty. If you google this you will see there is a huge range of Macramé Angel Wings available, from Wall Décor to handmade crochet ones to DIY ones. Also lovely jewellery and clothes with Macramé Angels wings on them.
Wooden or Leather Box Engrave with Baby’s name to keep everything in
Some people like to have a little memory box to keep everything together. This could include things like your hospital band, the pamphlet from your baby’s service, dried flowers that you received after losing them, photos or hand and footprints, scan pictures, cards or messages you received from friends and family.
Framing their ultrasound picture
Again this is very personal thing and I know from speaking with other TFMR Mamas that there is varying feelings around ultrasound pictures and that is ok! If it felt right for you, you could frame your favourite ultrasound picture. There are also companies who can do create pieces for you with your ultrasound. Check out @quaintbaby_ultrasoundart on Instagram or here.
Weighted Bear or A Teddy Bear made from their clothes
There are many amazing people and companies out there that make Teddy Bears for baby loss parents, if you have baby grows or blankets from your baby you maybe able to get them made into a little Teddy in memory of your baby. Another option is having a personalised Bear made for you which is the same weight/length as your baby if you have this information.
Teddy bear to hold their ashes or that plays their heartbeat
There are little bears available that have a pouch which you can pop your baby’s ashes into so you can give them a cuddle. Also some TFMR mamas have got bears made that plays their baby’s heartbeat.
Willow Tree Ornaments
Available in Gift shops all over the world, and widely available on Amazon in most countries. Willow Tree have a number of different ornaments which are quite fitting to baby loss. The pieces are beautiful and may speak to you.
Have a plaque engraved for your house or garden
You could talk to your funeral director about having a plaque done for you to take home with you and place in your house or garden.
Paint some rocks/stones with their name on it
How about a trip to the beach to collect some rocks/stones and then paint them at home for your baby? This is a nice way to include other members of your family too and have them design their own rock/stone in memory of your baby.
Plant a tree, plant or bush
Some Mamas have suggested planting a tree, plant or bush in your garden or elsewhere, you can do it privately or some have had family around for the occasion. Some choose one that flowers near their baby’s birthday or anniversary.
Memory Box Frame with their belongings in it
Box frames or shadows frames are a great way of displaying a picture and some of your baby’s keepsakes. IKEA have lovely ones linked here
Memorial Garden or corner of your garden or balcony dedicated to them
Depending on where you live there may be a Memorial Garden or Angel Garden near you where you can go and place something in memory of your baby. Others like to have a corner of their garden where they plant stuff and have ornaments or decorations that remind them of their baby. If like me, you live in an apartment with a balcony you could get a planter and make your own little flower bed for your baby.
Christmas Decorations
Celebrating holidays are harder since losing our babies, a nice way to include them is by making or buying Christmas decorations to represent them. We lost Riley at Christmas time and a family friend made us a decoration for our tree, I know already this Christmas that it will be there front and centre for everyone to see.
Personalised Lantern
For many lighting a candle is comforting to them after losing their baby and it would be quite fitting to have a little personalised lantern with baby’s name, date of birth and/or picture on it. Here are some from Etsy
Family Ruler from @familyrule with baby’s details recorded on it
Have your own family Heirloom Ruler Height Chart made to include your baby’s details/footprints/print of last scan photo. These rulers are for measuring your children and marking them instead of marking the wall. Check out their website here
The Night Sky Print
The website here allows you to create a print with the night sky from a particular date, time and location so you could have one made from a time that means something to you and your baby.
Tattoo
You could get an important date related to your baby tattooed somewhere on your body or perhaps their foot/hand prints if you were able to have some taken. One of our Mama's had their baby's footprints tattooed on the soles of her feet.
